Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
