that's an acceptable place to lick
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
