if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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