Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
