So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
