I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
