I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
