Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
