I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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