im having a threesome with these popsicles
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
