4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
