should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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