We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
