More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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