how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
