he puts the penis in happiness.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
