His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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