I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
