You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
