i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
