Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
