road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
