I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Why are your pants in the freezer?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
