I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
