We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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