This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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