i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
