I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
