I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
