doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize
