I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
