yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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