So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
