Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
