She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
