Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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