I think I died a long time ago.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
