Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
