Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
