Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
