the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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