they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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