Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
