whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
