So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
