then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
