That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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