i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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