We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
