Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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