Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
