to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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