Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he thought i was a dude.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
