I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
