12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
