We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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