i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
either way he was missing a nipple.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
