But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
