is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize