Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
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