bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
